I stood at the line and waited for the whistle. I was already starting to sweat. I rubbed my palms together and bent my knees in a stretch. My eyes were staring at the ground but my ears could not escape the sounds of cheer coming from sidelines. I could hear my name and advice spewing from all the angles and my heart was beating faster than I could process a single thought.
5...
The countdown had begun. I had four seconds left to start, and I had every intention of winning this race.
4...
It had been years in practice, and this was the last chance I had to win. If I didn't win today, it would go on record that I never won. I wasn't about to let that happen. It was now, or never.
3...
I had to block out the noise. Who was I going to listen to if I made that decision? I had listened to people before. Or at least I had tried. But today, I was listening to myself.
2...
I began to relax in the midst of tense nerves and remind myself that I could do it. If I knew I couldn't, I wouldn't have worked so hard. But I could;I could actually win.
1...
I said my final good bye to second place. The end was about to begin, and I had the pen in my hand to write it. I said a quick "So help me God" under my breath and...
The whistle blew.
When I reflect on this moment that happened 9 years ago, I realize that I am still running a race; just a different one. We all are, and to be honest, you might have to go through several challenging steps to be able to get to the finish line upon which your eyes are set.
Sometimes you will have to tune everyone out and listen to yourself just to be able to do what is right for you. So many people come along our paths with their own words of advice on how to run a race that they are not in.
The Cheers grew louder as we left the start line. I started at a pace significantly slower than the other runners. Listening to myself meant that I would do what was best for my body, and that was running at the same pace for three laps. I had done this in practice and it had given me my best finish time. So regardless of how fast others were going, this was my plan, and I was sticking to it.
You will have to stay focused and do what you know is right. Others might have their own way of doing things, but doing it their way might cause you to fail. Stay focused. It is your journey, not theirs.
First lap. Then second. One person down. She ran out of breath. I had remembered to keep my mouth closed. If practice taught me anything, to conserve energy in an endurance race, you ran with your mouth shut. Same pace. I wasn't giving up.
Your hard work might appear as stupidity to some people. People may not understand why certain things are very important to you and why you work so hard to achieve them. You don't owe those people anything. Remember why you are running. Remember the reason you are doing what you are doing.
Third lap. More people down. Out of breath and not well practiced. I kept running. Nothing was slowing me down. Nothing was discouraging me. My eyes were on the finish line, and I was getting there by all means.
Things are bound to get hard and difficult, but God never promised us a life without troubles or suffering. What he promised us was his sufficient grace, his embracing mercy, his presence; always.
Last lap. I picked up my pace. I had a finish line to get to, and the one person who had always beat me at this race was still ahead. She was the one thing that constantly stood between me and first place. Today, I was determined to make that change. One foot. Then the other. And then the other. I ran like my life depended on it.
Sometimes you might try, and try, and try, and fail. You might have to keep doing the same things over and over and over again. You might have to fight and put in literally everything you have to make a dream come true. But how far are you willing to go? How many times are you willing to try? How many times are you willing to fail? How many times are you going to convince yourself not to give up? The one time you throw in the towel might be the one time you could've made it.
I never looked back. I didn't want to. I wanted to not just finish, but I wanted to WIN. 5 years of practice, and finally, this was my moment. As I crossed the finish line, I unblocked my ears. Screams of joy and happiness surrounded me. I hadn't just crossed the finish line. I had crossed it FIRST. I had done it. I had won. I was completely exhausted, but I had done it. My hard work had paid off. I had one last chance. I was determined to make it count, and I did.
You have your race. What is your focus? What is motivating you? What is discouraging you? Why are you running? How much does finishing this race the right way mean to you?
NEVER give up. If you really want something, fight - blood, sweat, and tears - until you get it. Just make sure you take God with you. You and him form an unbeatable team.
That is Just Keep Running... as I do it.
***~Shanpepe~***
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