CHRISTIANS... SWEAR WORDS... SEXUAL SCENES

I was just thinking about something that has been on my mind all weekend, and thought i should let my thoughts out. Thankfully, you're reading them.

So I am taking this Communications class this semester called Communication Process. We learn and discuss various communication theories. We read the theory for Monday, watch a movie that corresponds with it on Wednesday, and then discuss the theory and movie on Friday.
   Last week was an interesting one. On Wednesday as usual, we watched a movie. However, this movie had A LOT of swearing. When I say swearing, I don't mean words like: shit, damn, hell, ass etc. In a lot of places like where I come from, those are not swear words. I mean words like the f bomb, and all other words that come from that one like anyone reading this should know. My schools is a Christian school, and my professor a very good Christian. Therefore, he was very bothered by the language in the movie, and was concerned that he was exposing us to negative stuff like that. After we watched the movie, he apologised to the class for all the swearing that was in it. OBV, it was not his fault. He felt so disturbed by this, and even later sent us an apology email. He did well, and i commend him for that.
    On Friday, we got to class, and discussed the movie and the theory, but only for a few minutes. He broke us up into groups and said in light of the kind of movie we watched the previous class, we should discuss whether Christians ought to watch movies with explicit sexual scenes and strong language. It was very interesting that he wanted to know what we as students thought about it. However, he wanted a yes or no answer. And i am telling you, i began to think right from then, impossible.
    We discussed in our groups, and when we were done, we began to discuss as a class. These were some of the things that people said:

1. If I can watch it with person A, but I cannot watch it with person B, should I be watching it at all?

2. If you are not convicted by it, then it is okay, but if you are convicted by it, then avoid it by all means.

3. If you are not convicted by it, but someone with you is convicted by it, then do not watch it.

4. If you cannot watch it if mom, dad, or Jesus was there, you should not be watching it.

5. It goes pretty much for anything including drugs, alchohol, etc If it affects you watching other people do it, avoid situations where you will have to be stuck watching other people do it.

6. With respect to swearing - The only thing that the bible has asked us not to say is the name of the Lord in vain. They are just words that the society attaches meaning to. Plus, it is a cultural thing.

7. When people swear, at least they are talking, so you can take the good out of what they are saying, and leave the swearing out of it. However, there is no good you can take out of sexual scenes. There is no reason for them in movies.

8. Those stuff affect you whether you know it or not. If you constantly expose yourself to negative stuff, it will bring you down.


So, I think that is all i remember people saying because a lot of the groups came to the consensus that it is a personal thing. You know what affects you and you know what you can expose yourself to. I agreed with some of the stuff, but I was indifferent about some others. Here's my opinion.
    I want to start with the question about who defines sexual scenes and explicit language as wrong or right. Yes we are christians, so is it our religion? the society? or even our personal values? or maybe all of these in context? Here is what I am saying. If I am watching a movie with sexually explicit scenes, and I am married with a husband, is it wrong? Be careful before you answer, cause in this same situation, I am a Christian.
Things tend to get pretty complicated sometimes. that's just my point. I am not answering the question, but it's just food for thought. YOU take time to think about it.
       We are all at different stages in our lives as christians. Some of us are just beginning, some of us are well into our walk with God, and for some of us, we are soooooo far into it a knife on our throats will not bring take us away from it. I do not think that as a beginner in the christian walk or journey you should be exposed to stuff like this. It can affect your walk with God and take you right back to square one. As someone who is well into your christian journey, I believe that you should have the discretion to know what you should watch, and what you should not watch. Whenever we said this in class, our professor called us out and said that in this present day, we like to make our lives a personal thing thinking that WE have control of things in our lives. I am not saying that we do have control over things in our lives, but do we not make choices? God gives us the opportunity to make choices for ourselves, so what I am saying is, make the right one. You know what will affect you. If you know you are easily led to sin by watching sexually explicit stuff, don't watch it. YOU have to make the choice. Also remember though, that the bible has said that if your right arm causes you to sin, then cut it off and throw it away. If you make the choice not to watch stuff like that, but your friends have made the choice to watch them, then do not be around them when they are watching stuff. YOU make the choices, God guards you.
     I also agree with the fact that for swearing, the society has just attached meanings to words, and it is a cultural thing. Why aren't shit, damn, hell, ass , etc swear words where I come from? Isn't that society? Isn't that culture? So I go home and I am a saint because i do not say the f word. I come to America and I am a devil because i say shit or damn? What meanings have Americans attached to those words that make them vulgar? Why arent those same meanings attached to the words in other places?
      
Excuse my language, but f**k, f****d, etc, are english words. Listen to what the dictionary says.

F**k: To have sexual intercourse with. To treat unfairly or harshly. An english word that is GENERALLY considered profane.

F**king: An intensifier. e.g. what took you so f**king long?

F***ed: Broken. In trouble, very drunk, annoying or mean.

This word has meanings in the dictionary that make sense to be used just like any other word. WHY  is it considered profane? My point here is that even more than just words and sexual scenes, the society twists a lot of things around.

   Another thing that came to my mind when we discussed this was that if something is being depicted as wrong, it shouldn't be shielded. If you are showing a movie with a prostitute for example, and you show her kissing people ONLY, and you say she is a prostitute, is that an accurate depiction? If you are going to show a movie about a young man or woman that changed for the better in all aspects, and maybe became a christian or something, and changed the way he used to talk and stuff like that, would it be an accurate depiction to not have him use "swear words" before he became a better person? Many people might disagree with this, but I totally feel like if you are going to depict a wrong behaviour, do not do it halfway. do it in full. that is the reason why i do not agree with saying that sexual scenes are NEVER  a necessity in movies. People need to know what is wrong or right. However, if sexual scenes or vulgar language are just used for the fun of it, then there is a problem.
    Think about the fact that we are also exposed to these things in many other ways than just movies, whether we like it or not. Its just the world we live in. Look at perfume commercials. Why are they so sexual? Go to walmart to pick up a magazine. The front page is probably going to be of a girl not dressed appropriately. Go to a CD or DVD store. they are probably going to be playing music in which every other line is a swear word.  How are you going to prevent these things that you have no control over? You NEED to be able to discern between what is right and wrong based on your values, beliefs, and religion etc. The same way you will not take in these things from public areas, is the same way you should not take them in in private. I know it is easier said than done, but in between that, there is trying. In the same way, apart from ratings, you do not have ANY idea what is going to be in a movie before you watch it, so you need to be able to take in the good stuff and let go of the bad. No matter how much you try to avoid it, bad stuff will follow you around anywhere you go. You have a choice to take it or leave it. God is always a source of help to  make the right decisions.

   So, its just some food for thought. I don't know what you think, but I guess that it what I've been thinking.
It's time to watch the Oscars now, and do my homework in between during commercials. :-]

That's all about my opinion on Christians, swear words and sexual scenes. .. as I do it.

~***shanpepe***~

ITS ABOUT LOVE...N.O.T SINGLE AWARENESS

#yesisaidit.

So yesterday was February 14th. Apart from the fact that it was my very good friends birthday - Happy Birthday Gallo, much love! - it was Valentines day. Usually, i would rather call it love day as opposed to valentines day, but dont even ask me why. I have noooo idea.
  Anyway, it's one of those days that doesnt really mean anythng to a single person. I know and understand that people preach the whole "love people around you, it's valentines day" sermon, and say that valentines day is a lot about loving everyone. you know yeah, i know this is true, but at the same time, i definitely think its all bull. I'm not saying that you shouldnt love everyone around you, or show Gods love. what im saying is this. take a few seconds after you read this post to review your facebook newsfeed or your twitter timeline from yesterday. I'm not going to say everyone, cause that would be a false claim, but ALMOST everyone who had that sermon a thier status was single. I feel like its really just an automatic psychological thing. So, im not saying that valentines day is for intimacy or for couples only, but neither am i saying that it is for loving everyone around you. I'm saying that love day is what you make it, not only based off of your relationship status or situation, but on your mindset.
    Coming off of that thought, i have been single a lot of valentines days in my life. Including yesterday, just incase you were wondering. somehow, i still have a lot of people showing me some loveee (which i appreciate. i mean, who doesnt like to feel loved?) I have been in geneva for only 3 years, and experienced 2 valentines.. Permit me to say that it is an interesting dynamic that takes place when every single person is getting depressed. I mean, valentines day definitely calls single people out. Your mailbox gets a sheet of paper that says Happy Valentines Day, while the girl beside you gets a sheet of paper that says: You have mail too big to fit in your mailbox. Every one is planning dates for the evening, but you're pretty muchh just planning homework. You go on facebook, and your crush has just left a valentines message on another girl or boys wall. I know. The day couldn't get any worse. Or wait. Maybe it could. You waited all day for that text message... the one that never came.
    I'm single, so i understand all these feelings. However, i don't beat myself up because its valentines day and i ain't got a man. Trust me, depression has NEVER been the way to go. There's no denying that it sucks not getting a bouquet of roses, chocolate in red heart shaped boxes, wine in a bottle tied in a bow, or a stuffed teddy holding a heart that says I Love You.  As a matter of fact, it DOES suck. #yesitdoes. But depression is not changing that fact. Instead, get together with all the other single ladies and pop a bottle. Do some chardonnay, or ciroc, or even some malibu (my roommates personal favourite). Cheer to some Jameson.. Or like i told someone, if you go to geneva, buy a go green cup and drink some lemonade...haha.. Dont sit around remembering lost love or sulking over being lovelorn. Be happy, smile, grab some dinner with the ladies, and have a night out celebrating being single. From experience, it rocks.
    If you're a man without a woman, i'm not sure getting all emotional would do it for you. Just think on the positive side. it saves you some cash for gas or something. maybe a new shaving kit, or a manicure set. I LOVE men with clean and nicely manicured nails. Thanx to my dad. :-)
   Oh, and before i forget, to all those who refer to valentines day as single awareness day, you're definitely on a long thing. Save your single awareness day for a day other than February 14th. That day, is a day to celebrate love!

Thats all about being single and loving it..even on valentines day... as i do it.

~***shanpepe***~

IF TRUE LOVE EXISTED...IT WOULD BE HIM... BESIDE ME... RIGHT NOW.

12... yes, since I was 12.

Our parents had always known each other. We ate breakfast at the same table, and rode in the same car to school. I made him tea when it was cold, and cooked him pasta when he was hungry. We played under the hot sun and ran around the playgrounds. We went on slides and climbed trees. We cuddled under the sheets when it rained, and had ice cream and popcorn at the movies. It was all the little perfect sibling thing, until someone asked me if i loved him - more than a brother. I'm not sure if it was the question or my response that came to me as a surprise, but the answer was ....


It's been many years later now. And he's been around the girls you know. I can't forget the one who would always go out and get drunk and only come back home to puke on his couch. Thankfully, it was a leather couch. Or the one who would always nag about everything, including the way he lay the cheese on her sandwich. Like really, who cares? Or the one who I once caught kissing his best friend. Oh my. If only he knew. Or the one that told him she was pregnant, but he wasn't the father. Wow, the two-timing whore. Or the one that told him he was full of shit anytime he tried to talk to her about things she was doing wrong. Who's full of shit? Or maybe it was the one who texted this boy at school the exact same thing she texted him.  I knew.. all of it. He didn't.

I don't know if this was right or wrong, but I chose to be the good person. It hurt me each time. Tore me into pieces. Made me curse the day I ever met him. It suddenly sucked to know him. Everything about it made me cringe - the times he loved and cherished girls who treated him like trash. All the time he wasted thinking he was being loved. All the time.. the time I could've....

Should I have said something? No. I guess not. But i don't know if I was right by doing that. He always ended up realizing that he was with someone wrong, but right after getting rid of wrong, he was into another wrong. I couldn't tell him he was wrong. I had no right to question his choices or tell him who to love. I had no right to even ask why he chose who he did. I had no right to say anything about anything. And it's not because I chose not to have a right. I had no choice. If I did, I would tell him everything; one after the other. All about how....

He called me three days ago. Pouring his heart out to me, he told me everything that I already knew... everything about each of those girls... everything about how he was used and abused by them... about how he gave his all into loving someone who would only love him like shit... but it was all old to me. I had tried to let go of all the hurt that it caused me watching him love like a human being but live like a dog. It had been sometime now, and I wasn't going back to any of it. But then I asked myself why? Why was he telling me all this now? Why did I have to know? At this point, I wasn't sure I cared. I hurt soo much for someone who was never learning from his mistakes. I hurt soo much from someone who was never...

Then he said he loved me. He said he'd loved me since I was 12. He told me how he cried himself to sleep every night, knowing that the only one person he loved was someone who could never love him back in that way. He told me how he'd made up his mind to tell me, but freaked out as soon as he got to my room door. He told me about all the times he wanted to kiss me when we cuddled when it rained, and all the times he wanted to just hold me under the sun, and watch the rays beat my skin. He told me how under every smile he ever gave me, was a heart that only wanted one thing... one thing from me. One thing I could never give him. One thing...

One tear. Then two. Then a flood. I cried so hard but yet so silently. He couldnt hear me crying over the phone, because he would ask me why. A question that I could not answer anymore. Yes. I loved him too. Since I was 12. I wanted just as much to kiss him when we cuddled as it rained. I wanted just as much for him to hold me under the sun and look into my eyes. I wanted just as much to be his girl. Here I was now... wishing i had said something to him. wishing i had just blurted the hardest words of my life out to him when it hurt me the most. Wishing i had just said "i love you". Wishing he knew.

Life is unfortunate. He'll probably never know now. It couldve been him in my life right now, sharing all this joy and sorrow, happiness and sadness, smiles and tears, hope and worries. If only I had said before, what I what I could've said right now, He'd be the man.. the man that I'm walking down the isle with... tomorrow.

I want so desperately to tell him how much I loved him my whole life, and how much I probably still do, but those duties are for me to perform now, to only one man. The man who put a ring on my finger. He woke his sleeping dog, but I have to let mine lie. He'll never know how much... how much I loved him.

...only because, If true love existed, it would be him.. beside me... right now.


that's whatever it is..lol... as i do it..

~***shanpepe***~