People's perceptions about you are built in several different ways. I'm a communications major, and I'm pretty sure you will fall asleep if I begin to rant about different perception theories and shit, so I'm not going to do that. However, I will say that perceptions are always built off of something. There has to be something that you do or say that makes someone perceive you the way they do. Unfortunately, these perceptions might not always be the greatest ones. That someone perceives me as a selfish bitch is not a great thing. [I just could honestly care less, cause I mean, if you want to pull out the speck in my eye before the log in yours, I think we gon have a problem. *evil grin* Anyway..] So yeah, perceptions are not always that great, but doesn't mean that they can't be. Some perceptions that people have of you are positive ones. To make my point though, I'm going to stick with negative perceptions.
I'm going to make the assumption, and I want to think that it is a safe one too, that no one really likes it when there is this negative perception that people have about them, especially when these people have never really met them. Everyone wants a chance to be able to prove themselves before they get judged, or before conclusions are made about them. It's only in our human nature to want others to see the good in us, and call us out for the good only. Because of this innate attribute of humans, we get frustrated when we hear all these negative stuff about us. And it's okay for us to not want to hear those things, but do we ever take time to understand that there is a difference between someones perceptions and what we really are? A lot of the time we fail to realize that what is more important is who we are and how we respond to the negative perceptions of us.
It bothers me when I see people who get so upset about the negative perceptions others have about them, but go on by all means to prove them right. I say it bothers me because I have come in contact with people who give me this whole speech about how badly others misread their actions or just even judge them based off of common stereotypes, but as soon as the speech is over, I turn around and the next time I see them, they are walking right into the words that they were mad at. Here's my point - You cannot be mad at people for giving you a reputation when you willingly choose to live it out. You can't be mad at someone that says your mean if you are actually mean. You can't be mad at someone who says you're a whore if you're actually a whore. You can't be mad at someone who says you're a bully if you're actually a bully. Honestly though, what are you even thinking!?
Perceptions are nothing permanent at all. They change in a split second. Nevertheless, they last a long ass time as well. People may have perceptions about you, but how you respond to those perceptions is what becomes a reality. If people have a false perception about you that makes you unhappy, you should be able to prove that it is false. If you cannot do that, isn't there some truth in it? Afterall, "perception IS reality" right?If you cannot prove a perception or reputation about yourself wrong, then you need to take some time and think about it, especially if it tempers with your comfort levels. I am in no way saying listen to all the shit that people are saying about you and take it all in and try to show them at all costs that they are mistaken. No. You don't live for other people. What I am saying is, if you truly are what you say you are, people will see it. Granted there are some perceptions about yourself you will not ever be able to change by staying true to who you are because people have their minds made up. Is that okay? Absolutely; because anyone who makes up their mind about you without giving you an opportunity to change it probably doesn't belong in your life anyway.
I heard something recently that broke my heart. A group of people who are constantly talking about the negative perceptions that people have of them just nicely lived up to the reputation they were given. If you are aware that the reputation is not a good one, why would you live up to it? It is not my place to judge anyone, and if you know me, I do not like to judge people, but there comes a point where you can unarguably tell stuff that just aint cool. I lost total respect for these people because of this, and it makes me sad, because whenever I look at them now, that's all I can think of. I swear, sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
People are going to think what they want to think. Some you can change and some, you can't. If you think the way to live is to affirm negative perceptions and reputations that you have, then by all means, be my guest. However, the next time someone calls a mouse a mouse, don't fight them. Don't get mad or upset. Accept it, and move on. Cause all they see is a mouse; when you show them a mouse, they'll have no choice other than to believe it.
So you see, the person who called me a selfish bitch probably wouldn't take a million dollars to change her mind, or to say otherwise, (and I'm still searching for a damn to give on this one..lmao) but that's not who I'm living for. The people who think I'm pathetic may take that perception to their graves, and again, those are not who I'm living for. Me, on the other hand, am doing my best to remain true to who I am, and to always do what I know is right. Not that I really care, but if I eventually prove their perceptions wrong, then great! But I would rather have them keep their perceptions as perceptions, than for me to act upon them, and make them a reality by living down to them and affirming them.
That's perceptions...as i do it.
~***shanpepe***~
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