BIRD POOP... YES?

The title of this post is in no way figurative, metaphorical, or symbolic. It is in fact, very literal. Bird poop. Bird as in that warm blooded vertebrate of the Aves class that is covered in feathers and flies; and poop as in defecating.  We clear? Okay. Good. Now we can proceed.

I have had several encounters with bird poop. Be reminded again, that no part of this is figurative. It gets as literal as can be, and I know this might sound gross, but if you've had two encounters of a bird pooping on you, one encounter of a bird pooping on your food, and one last encounter of a bird pooping right in front of you and you narrowly missing being pooped on for the third time, then you'll agree that this just might not be a coincidence. And just in case you're wondering, yes. I have had two encounters of a bird pooping on me, one encounter of a bird pooping on my food, and one encounter, just yesterday actually, of a bird pooping right in front of me and me narrowly missing it.
     Picture this. I am in a huge compound playing with my older sister and our friends. It's a warm sunny day outside and we're like all less than 12 so we're running all around and having fun. All of a sudden I feel this thing drop on my hand, and it was warm. I turn to look and its a thick liquid coloured white and dark green. My jaw dropped and I called my sister just so I could hear her say that it was a funny coloured rain drop and not confirm that it was bird poop. Rather unfortunately, she said "eeewwwww, thats bird poop." Of all places in the huge compound, of all the children's arms, of all the ground space and trees and roofs, the bird poop fell ON MY HAND. 1st time.
    As an elementary school kid, I loved to eat my lunch at the picnic table near the teather ball because we all tried to become teather ball champs.. [oh, the memories.] This one beautiful day, I bought some fries and puff puff, and went to eat at the picnic table while we watched and played teather ball. I looked away for one second, and when I looked back, right next to my puff puff was this thick coloured white and black liquid. I didn't need an angel to tell me it was bird poop. Everyone around me started screaming ewwwww and packing up their own food. Of all the places under the blue sky, other plates of food, of all the other ground space, trees, roofs, the bird poop fell ON MY PLATE OF OF FOOD. 2nd time
   Puerto Rico was very fun. Amazing to say the least. As we finished shopping that relatively cloudy day, we decided we were hungry and should get food. So we did. That was my first time ever having Church's chicken, and we all decided to sit outside. Under this tree was a little roundabout thing that we decided to sit on. On approaching it, I realised that it had bird poop all over it, but there was nowhere else to sit. I emptied one of my bags, and placed it on the surface of that thing so I could sit and other people did the same. After eating, I was just relaxing, and all of a sudden heard this tiny thud on my shoulder. Okayyyy what could that be? I turned to look, and there it was. The thick white, black, and green liquid. Of all the earth space, the trees, the number of shoulders, the roofs and the everything, the bird poop fell ON MY SHOULDER. 3rd time.
   I would say never take summer class. It's boring and dum. And as I have to wake up at 8 every morning, it's definitely not my favourite thing. As I hurried to class yesterday hoping to make it in time, I checked my watch, and I had 6 minutes. Okay, I was almost there so I could take a breather and slow down just a tad bit.  As soon as that happened, I took a step and right in front of my foot, there it dropped. Freshhhh wet all white liquid. Of all places under the blue sky, of all trees and roofs, and sidewalks, the bird poop fell RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FOOT. 4th time.
   So there you go. 4 freaking experiences with bird poop. It made me think for real. 4?! Do I look appealing to be pooped on? With all these questions running through my mind [and this is a serious issue, do not laugh], I visited the all knowing - google. What, dear google, is the significance of being pooped on by a bird?
   Google told me that some people say its good luck. Others agree, but say you have to eat it first. #pause. WHAT?! No comments. On to the next. Google said that other people say its totally bad luck. So I was at a loss here. What do I believe? I need to get to the bottom of this. So I asked google, what is it with bird poop and luck?
    Google said according to someone, it is good luck because not only does it happen by random chance, but it is so disgusting that there has to be something good about it. Everybody that had an explanation for bird poop and luck on google said it was good luck. This leaves me even more at a loss. Whyyy then hasn't good luck been my friend!?
    As is pretty obvious, I still haven't gotten to the bottom of this, but I want to believe that no one gets pooped on 4 times by a bird and calls it a coincidence. This BETTER be some sort of good luck thats taking a while to manifest, because it needs to be done already. I do not appreciate being pooped on by birds. At all.

That's being pooped on by birds... as i do it.