POSITIONING YOURSELF...

"God, please, help me."

Think about how often you catch yourself saying or praying these words.
Now think about how often you catch yourself wondering if he actually ever hears or answers.

How often, for me, you might wonder? More often than I would ever like to admit. I say these four words and a lot of times I'm stuck wondering if God is even listening to me at all. The one thing I am absolutely convinced of when I feel like this, is that I am not alone. I know that there are so many people out in the world on a daily basis who feel like they are always asking God for help and never actually receiving any of it.

A while ago, I was driving home sometime past midnight and my car was the only one on the highway. Tiny drops of water hit my windscreen in very quick succession and the only audible sounds were my wipers going back and forth and my tires on the tar. I was moving at about 130mph, and alone in my car, it felt like the perfect opportunity to just have a conversation with God. I wasn't praying. I was just talking to him like I would confide in a friend. I found myself saying these four words to him - God, please, help me -, and expressing to him how I felt like I had been asking and he wasn't forthcoming.

Now I am definitely still growing in my walk with Christ and getting more mature as time goes by, so I am not at the point in my life yet where I can say I distinctly hear the voice of God, but as I sped down the highway that night and expressed my heart to him, something began to stir my spirit halfway through our conversation. It was a question.

"You keep asking for God's help, but are you positioning yourself to receive that help from him?'

I tried to ignore it, telling myself that God didn't need my help to help me, and that he was all-powerful and could do anything I asked if he wanted to, so this really wasn't about me, but about him. But as days went by, no matter how hard I tried, this question would not leave my spirit, so I decided to explore the option of attempting to answer it.

You see, many times we ask for God's help but we truly don't position ourselves to receive help from him. We can be as specific as we want to be in prayer, but remember, faith without works... exactly. If you have been asking God to help you get a job, and the only place your resume is, is in the documents folder of your computer, you won't get a job. If you have been asking God to help you stop abusing alcohol, but the first place you go when you get off work is the bar, you will keep abusing alcohol. If you have been asking God to help you increase your finances, but you sleep-in until 1p.m and wake up and binge watch the new season of Orange is the New Black everyday, you will always be broke.

God loves you, but he won't break the rules for you. How are you positioning yourself for his help? If you need a job, send in your resume to organizations electronically, and walk around and distribute it if you need to. if you need to stop abusing alcohol, choose an AA meeting and go there after work instead of the bar. If you need an increase in finances, use your time to do something that can take you to where you want to be, or something that can at least be a start. You need to wake up everyday and make a conscious decision to be ready for whenever God's help will show up, especially if you have been asking for it.

As I spent some time reflecting on this question that stirred my spirit, I realized I had some work to do. I was asking for help from God, but the only reason why I was avoiding answering the question of whether I positioned myself for it, was that I hadn't. Instead, I was trying to put it all on God because well, he is all-powerful. God has every ability and capability to help you with every single situation in your life, but you have to actually let him. Granted, not all situations might be as black and white as needing a job or financial increase. It might be the restoration of a broken heart; a relationship you know you shouldn't be in; dealing with the spirits of unforgiveness or revenge; dealing with depression and a lack of self-worth; overcoming selfish desires ad desires of the flesh; getting over significant failure and defeat; it might be an extremely wide range of things. So the next time you find yourself asking for God's help concerning a situation in your life, ask yourself this one question: "How can I position myself to receive this help from God?"

In extremely challenging situations in my life, I pray these four words and many times I remember to express to God that I don't even know what "Help" means. I don't know if help means getting through the situation. I don't know if help means removing myself from the situation. I don't know if help means not dealing with the situation. I just. don't. know. Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where you dont even know what "help" means when you're asking for it, but you just need something because you're at a point where you have absolutely no idea what to do. When these times come, ask God to position yourself for his will to be done.

God always wants to help me, you. Go always wants to help us. But God isn't going to give us the trophy if we aren't even playing the game.

That is positioning yourself... as I do it.

~***Shanpepe***~

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JUST KEEP RUNNING...

I stood at the line and waited for the whistle. I was already starting to sweat. I rubbed my palms together and bent my knees in a stretch. My eyes were staring at the ground but my ears could not escape the sounds of cheer coming from sidelines. I could hear my name and advice spewing from all the angles and my heart was beating faster than I could process a single thought.

5...
The countdown had begun. I had four seconds left to start, and I had every intention of winning this race.

4...
It had been years in practice, and this was the last chance I had to win. If I didn't win today, it would go on record that I never won. I wasn't about to let that happen. It was now, or never.

3...
I had to block out the noise. Who was I going to listen to if I made that decision? I had listened to people before. Or at least I had tried. But today, I was listening to myself.

2...
I began to relax in the midst of tense nerves and remind myself that I could do it. If I knew I couldn't, I wouldn't have worked so hard. But I could;I could actually win.

1...
I said my final good bye to second place. The end was about to begin, and I had the pen in my hand to write it. I said a quick "So help me God" under my breath and...

The whistle blew.

When I reflect on this moment that happened 9 years ago, I realize that I am still running a race; just a different one. We all are, and to be honest, you might have to go through several challenging steps to be able to get to the finish line upon which your eyes are set.

Sometimes you will have to tune everyone out and listen to yourself just to be able to do what is right for you. So many people come along our paths with their own words of advice on how to run a race that they are not in.
         The Cheers grew louder as we left the start line. I started at a pace significantly slower than the other runners. Listening to myself meant that I would do what was best for my body, and that was running at the same pace for three laps. I had done this in practice and it had given me my best finish time. So regardless of how fast others were going, this was my plan, and I was sticking to it.

You will have to stay focused and do what you know is right. Others might have their own way of doing things, but doing it their way might cause you to fail. Stay focused. It is your journey, not theirs.
         First lap. Then second. One person down. She ran out of breath. I had remembered to keep my mouth closed. If practice taught me anything, to conserve energy in an endurance race, you ran with your mouth shut. Same pace. I wasn't giving up.

Your hard work might appear as stupidity to some people. People may not understand why certain things are very important to you and why you work so hard to achieve them. You don't owe those people anything. Remember why you are running. Remember the reason you are doing what you are doing.
         Third lap. More people down. Out of breath and not well practiced. I kept running. Nothing was slowing me down. Nothing was discouraging me. My eyes were on the finish line, and I was               getting there by all means.

Things are bound to get hard and difficult, but God never promised us a life without troubles or suffering. What he promised us was his sufficient grace, his embracing mercy, his presence; always.
         Last lap. I picked up my pace. I had a finish line to get to, and the one person who had always beat me at this race was still ahead. She was the one thing that constantly stood between me and first place. Today, I was determined to make that change. One foot. Then the other. And then the other. I ran like my life depended on it.

Sometimes you might try, and try, and try, and fail. You might have to keep doing the same things over and over and over again. You might have to fight and put in literally everything you have to make a dream come true. But how far are you willing to go? How many times are you willing to try? How many times are you willing to fail? How many times are you going to convince yourself not to give up? The one time you throw in the towel might be the one time you could've made it.
         I never looked back. I didn't want to. I wanted to not just finish, but I wanted to WIN. 5 years of practice, and finally, this was my moment. As I crossed the finish line, I unblocked my ears. Screams of joy and happiness surrounded me. I hadn't just crossed the finish line. I had crossed it FIRST. I had done it. I had won. I was completely exhausted, but I had done it. My hard work had paid off. I had one last chance. I was determined to make it count, and I did.

You have your race. What is your focus? What is motivating you? What is discouraging you? Why are you running? How much does finishing this race the right way mean to you?

NEVER give up. If you really want something, fight - blood, sweat, and tears - until you get it. Just make sure you take God with you. You and him form an unbeatable team.

That is Just Keep Running... as I do it.

***~Shanpepe~***

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NEVER TOO MUCH.

This was like what? The 5th or 6th time?

I'm pretty sure God had heard the prayer the first time it was said, but whatever. I rolled my eyes in my head and said an "Amen" when it was done. Was it time to go home now?

Pounded yam was my family's customary Sunday afternoon meal. We always made sure we had some soup made before Sunday morning and after church all we had to do was peal some yam, pound it, and enjoy. No yam flour or artificial pounded yam. This day wasn't very much different. Except, it was. We got home, pealed the yam, and were about to start pounding. I was outside the kitchen on the back porch; doing what, I don't exactly remember. My mom was inside the kitchen and her phone began to ring. She picked up, and a conversation ensued. A few seconds later, I was hearing responses from my mom that didn't exactly sound like everything was okay, and quite honestly her phone call wasn't any of my business, until I heard her shout "A kpe?" which translated from our mother tongue of Tiv means, "She died?"

Now, she had my attention. I pushed the door and walked in the kitchen and at this point no one is really stable. I'm standing beside her waiting for her to get off the phone but this was no quick conversation. Her expressions and exclamations only grew worse. I had started to connect some pieces of the puzzle myself as the conversation progressed, but there was only so much I could figure out. When she got off the phone, she told me what had happened. Our church had two branches in our city. The women fellowship from both branches had traveled for a conference in two buses and were on their way back when one of the buses had a terrible accident. 7 or 8 women were deceased. 

My heart skipped a beat, and immediately sank. I was overcome with emotions I still cannot exactly describe. I didn't know these women. They were all women from the other church branch - not the one that we attended. But this news had come like a blow in the face. At church that morning, every single prayer that was said included a prayer for safe travels for the women as they returned. But I sat in my chair when the closing prayer was being said and complained in my head that they had prayed enough prayers for the women because God wasn't deaf. 

Here I was, barely 3 hours later, with a convicted spirit. I started to ask myself questions. Would I have thought the prayers were a little too much if my mom had traveled as well? Would I have prayed that last prayer if my mom was with the women? But we prayed so much during the service for the women. Why did exactly what we were praying against happen? 

It has been 8 years since this happened. We said a lot of prayers, and God's plan for the circumstance was completely different from what we had hoped. But 8 years later, I never forget the profound lesson this incident taught me - There is no such thing as too much prayer. Don't take a n y t h i n g for granted.

First of all, I don't know what you're praying for. A new job, a breakthrough, a life partner, fruit of the womb, a difficult child, a broken spirit, a suffering marriage. God not only heard you the first time you prayed for it, but he knew your request even before you asked it. Don't ever feel like you have prayed enough about something that means a lot to you. Please keep praying. Be persistent. Tell God exactly what you need, what you want.

Secondly, please don't take things for granted. Some things may seem less important than other things. Some things may seem like they are not worth "praying too much" about. If it matters at all to you, pray about it. It may take one prayer sometimes, and other times it may take years of prayer. But whatever you do, pray about it.

Yes, God's plan differ from ours greatly, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about us and doesn't want to see us happy. Sometimes He might say no, but because our lives are in his hands, we have to be okay with that. We can never pray too much, and God is always ready and available for them. 

That is never too much... as i do it.

~***Shanpepe***~

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NO RIGHT WRONG

2016. Welcome.

So every new year there's some kinda trend going around social media. If you paid any attention this year, there were two main trends. First, there were those who were giving people making resolutions a hard time; basically saying resolutions were useless and those making resolutions were "playing themselves" *in my best DJ Khaled voice.* Secondly, there was the whole relationship trend discussion with the hashtags - #ShootYourShot2016 #StrategicPositioning2016 #WasteHerTime2016 #WasteHisTime2016. These were particularly interesting and somewhat disturbing, and from the hashtags you might have a rough idea what these discussions were about, but if you don't, google is your friend :-).  

The new year is indeed a time when people try to evaluate their lives and make changes - usually for the better. The problem is, bad habits are hard to break. We look at our lives, we look at things that need some work; anything from biting our nails to relationships we shouldn't have, and we make up our minds to finally try to switch things up and do the right thing. The first couple of days, or even weeks, we have things on lockdown. We're motivated and determined and we want to make these changes a lifestyle. However after those couple of days, vacation is over. Work resumes. And the only thing new about the year is your first bill that just came in the mail. Then it happens. Slowly but surely, we're back to old habits. 

For many of us, the changes we want to make are life altering, important changes that will greatly affect our lives, those around us, and even our relationship with God. Starting to go through with these changes and gradually falling back on them feels extremely defeating. Someway, somehow, we get to a place where we begin to think that we can actually never change things; that the things we've been doing wrong can never be right; that the mistakes we've made can never be corrected; that the space we are in, we can never move out of. This feeling of defeat makes us want to settle in where we are and what we are doing, and just forget about change, or what inspired it in the first place.  

See, when we look at ourselves and consciously choose to make a change in our lives, it is because we want to get better. Settling and accepting defeat over being unable to stop getting drunk, or taking home any girl at the club, or rolling a blunt and passing it around, or staying out late every saturday such that you can't make it to church on sunday, isn't going to make you a better person. I know it's day 8, and you already relapsed into your bad habit, and you're feeling disappointed and defeated in your attempt to make a change. I understand. But you need to realize that it takes much more than 8 days to break behaviour that might have taken months, or even years to become a habit. 

We're not supernatural beings. We're human. We WILL fail. Inevitably. But don't settle back into the behaviour you're trying to get rid of or the character you're trying to change because of one or two mistakes. Don't make excuses for yourself just so you can keep doing what you love, even though you know it is wrong. Don't get rid of half of the behaviour and keep the other half because half change is better than none. Don't try to convince yourself that you can't change because you tried but failed. See, there is no right way to do a wrong thing, no matter how hard you try. 

For some people it might be a breeze in the park to make changes. For others, you might have to wake up every single day and make a conscious decision to be a different person. You might have to ask God for strength and help every single day. You might have to try extra hard each day the sun rises to choose to do what is right. And you might still fail. But failure isn't the end. It just gives you another chance to try again. God's mercies are new every morning, and his grace is always sufficient. He knows your heart. In the words of Jonathan McReynolds, "limps are every flaw that keeps us from having an otherwise perfect form. And we were born handicapped, but God gives us strength back... if you just keep on walking with your limp." (Song - Limp, Album - Life Music Stage Two)

What is it that you're battling with? What is that one thing that you desperately need to change that has a firm grip on you? What is your limp? Don't try to get a walker, a wheelchair, or a stick to make you more comfortable with your limp. Just keep walking. Change isn't meant to be comfortable. It's just meant to be positive. It may take time, but God has all the strength you need. 

It's just day 8. You have 357 days left. And the best thing about this is, God's love, grace, and mercies never expire. 

That's no right wrong... as i do it. 

~***shanpepe*~

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