A WEEK AND A HALF.

I didn't want it.

I sat in that chair letting my mind wander as she spat out all these words that sounded pretty rehearsed, but also pretty convincing. It was obvious that she had given this exact same "sermon" to a couple of other people and I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be the last. She said everything she knew I wanted to hear and a whole lot of stuff that were intended to invoke all kinds of emotions - determination, perseverance, fear, ambition. Unfortunately, I had my mind made up, and nothing she was saying was going to change it. I wasn't withdrawing my resignation.

It had been a week and a half since I'd taken the job and here I was, sitting opposite the boss, explaining that my last day was right around the corner. This job was packaged as almost everything I had hoped and prayed for - I could make thousands of dollars, I could get promoted really fast, I could be a business owner within 12 months if I was ready to do what it all required, I could get sponsored and take advantage of the work visa. I could. I was looking for an opportunity, and here was one. I had taken advantage of it. But a week and a half had taught me a really fundamental lesson.

When you go to a hotel and make a reservation, you get a room on one floor. There could be a million rooms in that hotel, but only one will have your name on it. You can get in the elevator and stop at every single floor, and get off. You can try to use your key to unlock the other doors in hopes of success. However, until you stop at your floor, and go to your room, you have no access to adequate shelter. The rest of the hotel will have things you might need - a restaurant, a fitness center, a pool, maybe even a casino or game room, but all those are just amenities. Your reservation is a room.

This job was going to give me everything I wanted for the long term, but knocking on peoples doors and convincing them that they needed a fibre optic network for cable and internet was completely uncomfortable for me. The motivation from my boss and co-workers sounded good but did nothing for me. Everyone at work thought I absolutely loved my job, but every one in my personal life knew I felt like it was a complete disaster. I have never been a quitter, and I have always understood that the only thing that brings success is hard work. My daily prayer at the moment became "God, Help me. I don't know if 'help' means another job, a change of perspective about this one, or tremendous success at it, but I need your help." As the days passed by, I began to understand that the great discomfort that came with this opportunity was no coincidence. One person had told me "Se, this job isn't your job." Another asked me, "Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Are you fulfilled?" A week and a half was all it took for me to realize that this opportunity that could eventually give me everything that I wanted, wasn't for me.

Living a life of purpose requires us to understand how to handle opportunities that come our way. Opportunities are like hotel rooms. Many opportunities are available to you in life, but not every opportunity is for you. Many of them will be far reaching, but some of them will fall on your lap on a platter of gold and shine like the miracle you have been waiting for, but until you understand that your purpose is greater than some opportunities, you will be stuck on an elevator, getting off at every floor, trying to unlock every door in hopes of success.

Prayer and the spirit of discernment are so important when making important decisions and taking advantage of opportunities that come your way. God wants you to wait on him. Sometimes he might literally place in your path things that look like all you've ever wanted, hoped, and prayed for, just to see if you will wait on him. You might have to say some hard no's and goodbye's. You might get very uncomfortable. You might have to turn around and go back to the drawing board. But waiting on God is ever so important. If you want to skip to how the story ends, this is it right here. I'm still waiting on God. I dont have a job or anything that I had hoped and prayed for, and I promise you, it gets hard trying to understand what God is doing sometimes. But then again, my business is not to try to understand what He is doing. My business is to wait on him. To wait for his plan to prevail. To wait for the right opportunity; To get off on the right floor, and open the room with my name on it. Then everything else will just be an amenity; icing on the cake.

Thats a week and a half... as i do it.

~***Shanpepe***~

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WORRY, OR WORSHIP?

201.....5.
There is motivation to do things that you've made up your mind to do. There is excitement about what is to come. There is planning and preparation for major decisions about to be made. Because another 365 days have gone by, and this marks another beginning; starting over, in a sense.

Many people brought in the new year with loved ones - at home, in times square, at that club downtown, on vacation, in church. Personally, I really wanted to cross over in church, but the service at my church was designed to end before midnight since this was our first ever new year as a church. Regardless, I was still at the service. Like me, many others of you were in church, and you probably heard powerful sermons about what the new year was going to bring. Along with other believers, you praised, you worshipped, you prayed, and you left with an immense feeling of hope and encouragement because this year was going to be a year of (fill in the blank). Being reminded about the things that God can do, and the things he has already done put you at peace because that is the God you serve.

Fast forward to today. Maybe you got woken up by bill collectors because well, the beginning of a new 365 doesn't pay your bills. Maybe you woke up hit by the reality that you still don't have a job, and it seems like every search for one ends in nothing. Maybe you woke up to the same pain in your back and still have to take that medicine. Maybe you woke up to another invitation to a wedding, and you don't even have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet. Maybe you woke up to another announcement of birth, when all you have been praying for is the fruit of the womb. Maybe you woke up to another day of struggling because your bank account keeps depleting, and nothing is coming in. Maybe you woke up to another day of wondering how you are going to make it through.... through everything, because nothing seems to be in place and frankly, you're just tired. All of a sudden, you realize that we are three days into January, and this year is beginning to look a lot like last year already. As a matter of fact, you realize that it is merely a continuation of last year. The clock changed, but your situation didn't. It is 2015, but the only thing that is different is the last digit in the year.

Away from all the emotions of being among other believers, praising, worshipping, praying, rejoicing, and feeling invincible about the new year, the realities of life start to hit, and you quickly forget that feeling of hope you left with just two days ago. All the feelings of discouragement, failure, inadequacy, hopelessness, helplessness - all the negative feelings return; and naturally too, because those feelings are what your situation is associated with. Your situation is not going to go away in the blink of an eye, and if those feelings are associated with your situation, they are going nowhere soon. Sooner than later, you start to forget what it truly feels like to be reminded of God's goodness, favor, mercy and love, because your situation feels completely devoid of it.

It is so easy to get caught up in the emotions of praising, worshipping and praying when you are surrounded by other believers doing the same thing. In that moment, it is so easy to believe that God is able, that God can do it all, that God has already done it all, that God is all you will ever need, that God will make a way, that God will... God has... God will continue to. In that moment, it is so easy for everything to seem perfect. After that moment, everyone gets in their car, drives back to their situation, and you do just the same. This is where it gets significantly harder. See, the negative feelings associated with your situation will always be there, but what you choose to do concerning them is what makes all the difference. Will you worry, or will you worship?

I learned something a couple of weeks ago about the story of Job in the Bible. There was a challenge made in the heavens, and it was about God, not Job. Satan told God, I bet if you don't bless him, he won't serve you. Job wasn't on trial. God was, and Job was just the witness. Satan left the presence of God with the ability to afflict Job anywhere and anyhow he wanted, but the very first thing he went after was Job's sheep and oxen. Why? Because Job offered, every morning, a sacrifice to God. The FIRST thing Satan wanted was Job's ability to sacrifice to God. He wanted Job's worship. In the words of William McDowell, "The enemy doesn't want your possessions. He wants your worship."

When you're out of "that moment", you will have to make a conscious decision to let your response be worship. You have to wake up to every situation and say "Yet! Will I praise you." You might have to do this every. single. day. You might even have to do this multiple times a day. You have to constantly remind yourself that you are choosing to let your response be worship. It is so much easier said than done, but that is why worshipping when things are hardest carries so much weight and power. You are human and you might forget for a split second. You might get discouraged, upset, hurt. But when you do remember to say "Yet! Will I praise you."

It is a new year, and yes, your situation might be very far from new. Things might be the same, but you can choose to let your response be different. There are people around you watching to see how you will respond in the storm. When the rain is heaviest, the hail is hardest, the thunder loudest, and the lightening brightest, will you worry, or will you worship?

"Lord, we recognize that you change us many times before you change our situation."
                        ~ William McDowell.

Yet! Will I praise you!

That is Worry? Or Worship?... as i do it.

~***shanpepe***~

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