For the first time in my life, I felt naked. Totally, completely naked.
Because I didn't know this man. I had never met him. Yet in a crowd of thousands of college students, he was speaking to me; countering my every argument with a solution. Who exactly was this man, and how did he know this?
I sat and listened to him as he spoke. He spoke about Moses and going into the promised land. He spoke about the many excuses Moses made when God told him very clearly what he wanted him to do. God had an answer for every question, a solution for every problem, and a rebuttal for every argument. Moses wondered how he was going to do this - God said "I will show you." When he wondered who would go with him - God said "I will be with you." When he complained about a lack of resources - God said "I will provide." When he didn't think he could do it - God said "You can do all things." And when he didn't think he could see it through - God proved that his grace was sufficient.
I listened as this man spoke, and it was all just a beautiful message UNTIL he said "God is calling you to something. What excuses are you making?" It was at this moment that I realized that it all made sense. THIS was the reason why everybody was talking about Jubilee.
I had come back from christmas break earlier, and it was my last semester of college. Jubilee had happened every other year that I was here but this year, 2012, every one I had a conversation with asked me if I was going to Jubilee. I was tired of explaining that it was a little bit too expensive for me to afford at the time, and I had no sponsors, but I explained as I was asked anyway. As the weekend of February 18th 2012 got closer, I stopped by the chaplain's office one day to just say hi, and yet again, there was a conversation about jubilee. By this time I had my explanation memorized to the t just because of how much I had given it. It had become a speech. So again, I pulled it out the front of my memory, and it was so compelling it could have received an applause. He looked at me plain as day and said one sentence. "Sese, don't let money be the reason you don't go to Jubilee."
I felt defeated in my attempt to pitch my lack of finances. One person saw my excuse as irrelevant and suddenly I felt some type of way. I tried to brush it off and went back to my apartment. It wasn't 5 minutes after I walked through the door my roommate called me and asked me if I was thinking about going to Jubilee, cause everyone had been asking her about it but she didn't have that money at this time. This was when I realized that this wasn't coincidental. Maybe, just maybe, God needed me at Jubilee. It sounded funny but I decided to take a chance. My roommate and I went out looking for support. We had to write these long essays on why we wanted to go, and I didn't know how writing "because God wants me to" was going to get me three hundred and something dollars, but hey, if he wanted me to go, he'd get me there. Less than a day later, my roommate spoke to a professor about jubilee in a casual conversation just like I had with the chaplain, and he volunteered to sponsor both of us fully. Like, all of it. He was paying almost $700 for me and my roommate to go and sit in a huge room at an expensive hotel for two days with thousands of other college students, listening to speakers, and singing songs. Almost too good to be true.
Jubilee weekend was finally here. Friday had gone by, saturday had gone by, and it was now saturday night. We were going to leave sunday morning, and I started to lose hope. I felt like God wanted me at Jubilee and I was expecting something great to happen to me; something divine; something big; I had just a few hours left, and... nothing. My spirit was dampened. I had done this all for nothing.
As my roommate and I walked around the various organizations' tables before the last session for the night, I remembered I had come for Jubilee before in my freshman year, and Compassion International was usually there. So I asked my roommate if she had seen them and she said no. I randomly asked someone else at another table and she said "Oh, right there by the main auditorium entrance." So we walked over there. On the table lay all these pictures of kids that needed to be sponsored, along with pens, bracelets, and other things Compassion. Precious kids from all over the world - some older some younger; kids that needed just one person to make a commitment to be a part of their lives and support them not just financially, but spiritually as well. As I read the information, I read that sponsors were required to give a minimum of $38 a month. I asked the young man at the table if there was anyway a I could sponsor a child with a little less than $38 monthly, and he said the only way was to make a one time donation. Unfortunately. So I turned and asked my roommate if she would be willing to split the cost, and she said she honestly couldn't make the commitment at the time. So we thanked them for their time and walked into the auditorium for the last session of the night and ..... finally.
This man had been speaking about Moses, but the minute he asked the question about what God was calling us to and what excuses we were making, I realized he was talking to me. Every excuse he had up on that screen, I had just made a mere 20 minutes ago. I didn't know how I was going to sponsor a child, but God was saying He would show me. I was looking for someone to make the commitment with me, but God was saying He would go with me. I didn't have the resources to make a $38 commitment every month, but God was saying I will provide. I walked away thinking I couldn't do it, but God was saying I can do all things. In that moment it was clearer than a writing on the wall. This was why God brought me to Jubilee.
As the speaker made the alter call for people who wanted to answer God's call and stop making excuses, I knew what I needed to do, and it wasn't to walk up to the alter and accept that call. It was to walk outside the auditorium to Compassion International, and accept that call. So I got up, walked straight to Compassion's stand and told the lady with the biggest smile ever, that I would like to sponsor a child. I had the opportunity to choose whichever child I wanted, and I picked a child that had been waiting 10 months and was in need of immediate support. After that session, I went back to my hotel room, and couldn't waittttt to become a part of this little boy's life! I pulled out a pen, a sheet of paper, and wrote my first letter ever to Jhon Jairo Rojas Tamayo in Columbia.
Two years and many letters later, I have never failed, even once, in being able to support this little boy. Gods promises rendered my excuses irrelevant. Everyday I am reminded that one of the biggest blessings came into my life by God taking from me, instead of giving to me. Everyday I am reminded that living life without a purpose is meaningless. If you want to live life without a purpose, quit your job, quit school, sit at home all day, watch TV. But purposeful living involves much more than just yourself. Its more than just doing what makes you happy. It is choosing to make a difference where you can, no matter how little.
If God is calling you to something and you're making excuses, be reminded that God's promises make your excuses invalid. Answer God's call and dont ask too many questions. An obstacle to us is only but an opportunity for him to show us just how much he is able.
That is invalid excuses... as i do it.
~***Shanpepe***~
For more information about Compassion International, click here.
For more information about Jubilee, click here.
Because I didn't know this man. I had never met him. Yet in a crowd of thousands of college students, he was speaking to me; countering my every argument with a solution. Who exactly was this man, and how did he know this?
I sat and listened to him as he spoke. He spoke about Moses and going into the promised land. He spoke about the many excuses Moses made when God told him very clearly what he wanted him to do. God had an answer for every question, a solution for every problem, and a rebuttal for every argument. Moses wondered how he was going to do this - God said "I will show you." When he wondered who would go with him - God said "I will be with you." When he complained about a lack of resources - God said "I will provide." When he didn't think he could do it - God said "You can do all things." And when he didn't think he could see it through - God proved that his grace was sufficient.
I listened as this man spoke, and it was all just a beautiful message UNTIL he said "God is calling you to something. What excuses are you making?" It was at this moment that I realized that it all made sense. THIS was the reason why everybody was talking about Jubilee.
I had come back from christmas break earlier, and it was my last semester of college. Jubilee had happened every other year that I was here but this year, 2012, every one I had a conversation with asked me if I was going to Jubilee. I was tired of explaining that it was a little bit too expensive for me to afford at the time, and I had no sponsors, but I explained as I was asked anyway. As the weekend of February 18th 2012 got closer, I stopped by the chaplain's office one day to just say hi, and yet again, there was a conversation about jubilee. By this time I had my explanation memorized to the t just because of how much I had given it. It had become a speech. So again, I pulled it out the front of my memory, and it was so compelling it could have received an applause. He looked at me plain as day and said one sentence. "Sese, don't let money be the reason you don't go to Jubilee."
I felt defeated in my attempt to pitch my lack of finances. One person saw my excuse as irrelevant and suddenly I felt some type of way. I tried to brush it off and went back to my apartment. It wasn't 5 minutes after I walked through the door my roommate called me and asked me if I was thinking about going to Jubilee, cause everyone had been asking her about it but she didn't have that money at this time. This was when I realized that this wasn't coincidental. Maybe, just maybe, God needed me at Jubilee. It sounded funny but I decided to take a chance. My roommate and I went out looking for support. We had to write these long essays on why we wanted to go, and I didn't know how writing "because God wants me to" was going to get me three hundred and something dollars, but hey, if he wanted me to go, he'd get me there. Less than a day later, my roommate spoke to a professor about jubilee in a casual conversation just like I had with the chaplain, and he volunteered to sponsor both of us fully. Like, all of it. He was paying almost $700 for me and my roommate to go and sit in a huge room at an expensive hotel for two days with thousands of other college students, listening to speakers, and singing songs. Almost too good to be true.
Jubilee weekend was finally here. Friday had gone by, saturday had gone by, and it was now saturday night. We were going to leave sunday morning, and I started to lose hope. I felt like God wanted me at Jubilee and I was expecting something great to happen to me; something divine; something big; I had just a few hours left, and... nothing. My spirit was dampened. I had done this all for nothing.
As my roommate and I walked around the various organizations' tables before the last session for the night, I remembered I had come for Jubilee before in my freshman year, and Compassion International was usually there. So I asked my roommate if she had seen them and she said no. I randomly asked someone else at another table and she said "Oh, right there by the main auditorium entrance." So we walked over there. On the table lay all these pictures of kids that needed to be sponsored, along with pens, bracelets, and other things Compassion. Precious kids from all over the world - some older some younger; kids that needed just one person to make a commitment to be a part of their lives and support them not just financially, but spiritually as well. As I read the information, I read that sponsors were required to give a minimum of $38 a month. I asked the young man at the table if there was anyway a I could sponsor a child with a little less than $38 monthly, and he said the only way was to make a one time donation. Unfortunately. So I turned and asked my roommate if she would be willing to split the cost, and she said she honestly couldn't make the commitment at the time. So we thanked them for their time and walked into the auditorium for the last session of the night and ..... finally.
This man had been speaking about Moses, but the minute he asked the question about what God was calling us to and what excuses we were making, I realized he was talking to me. Every excuse he had up on that screen, I had just made a mere 20 minutes ago. I didn't know how I was going to sponsor a child, but God was saying He would show me. I was looking for someone to make the commitment with me, but God was saying He would go with me. I didn't have the resources to make a $38 commitment every month, but God was saying I will provide. I walked away thinking I couldn't do it, but God was saying I can do all things. In that moment it was clearer than a writing on the wall. This was why God brought me to Jubilee.
As the speaker made the alter call for people who wanted to answer God's call and stop making excuses, I knew what I needed to do, and it wasn't to walk up to the alter and accept that call. It was to walk outside the auditorium to Compassion International, and accept that call. So I got up, walked straight to Compassion's stand and told the lady with the biggest smile ever, that I would like to sponsor a child. I had the opportunity to choose whichever child I wanted, and I picked a child that had been waiting 10 months and was in need of immediate support. After that session, I went back to my hotel room, and couldn't waittttt to become a part of this little boy's life! I pulled out a pen, a sheet of paper, and wrote my first letter ever to Jhon Jairo Rojas Tamayo in Columbia.
Two years and many letters later, I have never failed, even once, in being able to support this little boy. Gods promises rendered my excuses irrelevant. Everyday I am reminded that one of the biggest blessings came into my life by God taking from me, instead of giving to me. Everyday I am reminded that living life without a purpose is meaningless. If you want to live life without a purpose, quit your job, quit school, sit at home all day, watch TV. But purposeful living involves much more than just yourself. Its more than just doing what makes you happy. It is choosing to make a difference where you can, no matter how little.
If God is calling you to something and you're making excuses, be reminded that God's promises make your excuses invalid. Answer God's call and dont ask too many questions. An obstacle to us is only but an opportunity for him to show us just how much he is able.
That is invalid excuses... as i do it.
~***Shanpepe***~
For more information about Compassion International, click here.
For more information about Jubilee, click here.
Wow, what a powerful piece of writing Sese; met me right at a point of need. You undenaibly have a beautiful gift and may it grw ever brighter!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad! I took me a long time to write this as i was contemplating whether or not to put it out there, but I was convicted to write it so I did. Thank you so much for the kind words! and Amen! xo
DeleteIt seems that God gave you much more than you could have ever imagined! He gave you the gift of giving and giving without expecting anything in return. He increased your joy, also! Love the testimony, SeSe!
ReplyDeleteHe sure did! He gave me much much more than I could ever have imagined. This was the moment that I truly understood the meaning in being more blessed by giving than receiving. And yes! my joy is overflowing! Thank you! :-)
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